Sunday, October 18, 2009

Hamamelidaceae

I have to post about one of my greatest accomplishments in higher learning to date. You see, I am a big proponent of having a well-rounded education across disciplines. When I teach zoology I often talk about how things got their scientific and/or common names. This requires some knowledge of Latin language, Greek mythology, History, etc. (an example is the Gordian Worm, which is named after the Gordian Knot. If you don't know about it...Look it up!).

Anyway, recently my knowledge of things outside of biology greatly helped me to learn about the Sweetgum tree. I've known the scientific name of Sweetgum for years (Liquidambar styraciflua). But I did not know that it is in the Witch Hazel family which is called Hamamelidaceae. Well, I had to know that for a quiz. So I wondered how in the world I could easily remember that?! Well, with some help from my good friend Billy Shakespeare, I figured it out. Try to follow me on this:

Hamamelidaceae reminds me of the name Hamlet, a play written by Shakespeare. But that doesn't help me a lot on its own. So, we dig deeper. Hamlet is a play about someone who wants to become king so he kills the king (who happens to be his own brother) and becomes king himself, only to die by the end of the play. Well, Shakespeare wrote a very similar play (though not as good) called MacBeth. In MacBeth, the king is killed because MacBeth wants to become king (actually it's his wife who wants him to become king), but MacBeth is also killed by the end of the play. So Hamamelidaceae reminds me of Hamlet which in turn reminds me of MacBeth, but why is MacBeth important? You probably won't ever go to a play called MacBeth. Actors are very superstitious (hence 'break a leg' instead of 'good luck') and they believe that MacBeth (the play) is cursed. In the play, there are three characters who are witches ('Double, double, toil and trouble' comes from the witches in MacBeth). That reminds me of the Witch Hazel family. Well, the legend says that the witches were based on real witches who got mad at Shakespeare and cursed his play. So anytime it plays someone dies or some other tragedy happens. So they always change the name to something else. But the point is, the witches cursed the play and what do you do if you step on a Sweetgum ball (it has all those stickers on it)? You curse! Actually, I don't curse, but it can be tempting.

So I can remember the family Hamamelidaceae because it reminds me of Hamlet. Hamlet reminds me of MacBeth with has witches in it which, in turn, reminds me of the Witch Hazel family. And the witches supposedly cursed the play which reminds me that you want to curse when you step on Sweetgum balls. So Sweetgum is in the Witch Hazel family which is also called Hamamelidaceae! Isn't that amazing!? None of this would have been possible without Shakespeare! Am I not a genius?!

See, a liberal arts education is important.

Nature

This one was another assignment in high school (9th grade). We had to write about nature. This one sounds best if read out loud and in one breath...


Nature

Birds and trees and bees and flowers,
Grass and leaves and April showers,
Cats and dogs and squirrels and eagles,
Oceans and fish and crabs and seagulls,
Lizards and insects and turtles and snakes,
Rivers and streams and ponds and lakes,
Mice and gophers and big ol’ rats,
Turkeys and groundhogs and flying bats,
Wild fruits and plants and little tomaters,
Bugs and beetles and big ol’ gators,
These things and animals and little creatures,
Put them together and we have Nature.

Sonnet 1

I wrote this poem as an assignment in Mrs. Becker's 12th grade English Class ('99-'00 school year). We had been studying Shakespearean and Spenserian Sonnets. I was frustrated with the strict rules these types of sonnets employ. So for my sonnet I told Mrs. Becker that rather than write one of those types of sonnets (like I was supposed to), I was instead going to write a Stanleyan sonnet. The only strict rules of a Stanleyan sonnet are that it must contain 14 lines and must rhyme (using a rhyme scheme of the sonnetteers choice); iambic pentameter is optional. Anyway, this is the sonnet I wrote and is the very first of the Stanleyan sonnets. Notice I title my sonnets the same way Shakespeare did by numbering them. I'm still working on Sonnet 2...

Sonnet 1

You cannot escape the changes of time,
However hard you might want to try.
Destined to pass from phase to endless phase.
Changing from the time you’re born ‘til you die,
Trying to find a constant in life.
Realizing everything last but a few days.
Never any time to have some fun,
But just a short while and that phase is done.
To another short-lived phase you must go.
But what will happen God only knows.
So laugh while you can and try very hard
Never to complain or argue,
‘Cause you cannot do it over again,
For the days and seasons are short and few.

Basketball Practice

Wrote this one as an assignment in English class back when I played basketball for Gilmer High in 9th grade ('96-'97 school year). Our assignment was to write a limerick. Only I can make a limerick sound depressing. However, as with all limericks it should be read with an Irish accent. I still don't like Coach Westbrook...

Basketball Practice

Basketball practice is tough,
After a short while I’ve had enough.
I feel like I’m dead,
And I want to go to bed,
But I’ve got to do too much stuff.

Serenity

Wrote this one back around 2001. It's the only poem I've ever written that doesn't rhyme. I was walking across campus one Friday afternoon and it was about to rain. Everyone goes home on the weekends so the campus was pretty quiet. These words just popped into my head and it pretty well describes that moment:

Serenity

You know what I love?
The calm before the storm,
When you can smell the rain.
And there's a gentle, cool breeze in the air,
The clouds begin to darken, but not too much,
And for a brief moment, there's a feeling of serenity.

Epitaph

I figure I should probably get around to uploading some of the poems I have written through the years. This first one is called 'Epitaph'. I wrote it as an assignment in Mrs. Becker's 12th grade English class (circa 1999-2000). We had just read 'Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard' and we were supposed to now write our own poem suitable for an epitaph. I started out thinking I would do something funny, kind of a "ha ha, I'm dead and you're not. I get to rest and you still have to put up with life" kind of poem. But part of the way through I couldn't think of anything funny, so it changed to a more serious tone. Anyway, here it is:

Epitaph

Here I lie pushing up this daisy,
Evermore to be truly lazy.
Nevermore to work and mow,
Nevermore to plow and sow.
Fleshly lying in this cold state,
My soul has passed through Heaven's Gate.
Singing praises to my great God,
Yet, lying 'neath this earthen clod.
Dead on earth yet Quick above,
Singing hymns of Truth and Love.
Walking on this earth no more,
Just in Heaven with my Lord.

Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, part 2: or, I'm Glad there were Other People Around

My advisor called again today; I still didn't answer. Later I received an email today saying there would be cake and drinks in the office as a goodbye gesture for Dr. Romero (which is strange because I dreamed last night that there was a group of us saying goodbye to him...I guess I'm gifted). I decided to go get some free cake, but worried that my advisor might also be there. I figured I would try to avoid him if possible. I walked into the office and spoke with a couple other people for a moment and thought I heard my advisor's voice in the room with the cake. After a couple of minutes I didn't see him or hear his voice and figured I might as well go get some cake regardless.

I walked in and there he was. Well, I'm there for cake, not for him. So I start to get some cake and he says, "Jonathan Stanley." Without looking at him I said, "That would be me." Then he mentions something about my still only being a Master's student and the application form for the GK12 fellowship seems to only apply to Ph.D students. Still without looking at him I told him it didn't matter. He said he needed to know the title of my thesis. I said, "You're my advisor; you should know it." He said, "Well, send it to me so I can put it on the application." I got my plate and walked out back to where there were a couple other grad students.

I was speaking with Dave (who already knew about the situation) when Trauth comes out to where we are and says, "My prediction: that Dirty Jobs will show us setting traps out." I can feel my blood pressure rising since he doesn't even acknowledge that he left early without attempting to introduce me to Mike. I couldn't let it just slide. I tensely said, "Yeah, well thanks for leaving at 8:50 instead of 9:00." He said, "Well, it turns out it wouldn't have worked anyway." I said, "You could have introduced me to him." Then he started talking about when there was a press conference and Tanja didn't even get to be there for that. I said, "I'm not talking about that. You told me to be at the farm at 9:00 and I pulled in at 8:50 to find you leaving early." He said, "What? Did you see me?" I said, "Yes, I saw you pulling out right as I was pulling in." He said, "You're sure you saw me?" I said, "Yes, I saw you." He said there wouldn't be room in the boats anyway. I said, "I knew I couldn't go since there were already three people in each boat, but I could have gotten to shake his hand and maybe get a picture with him." At this point I'm glad there are several people around because neither of us were willing to make a scene in public. Otherwise it may have descended into one of those Trauth/Ben screaming matches. He looks at Dave and says, "He's bitter! He gets to be on TV and he's still bitter!" Dave laughed and said grad students are always bitter. That may be true...at least at ASU. I wonder why that is? (sarcasm intended) I said, "I probably won't even make it on TV and if I do it will be from behind. You won't even be able to see me." I came really close to mentioning how Josh didn't get to meet Attenborough, but I didn't bring it up. Trauth says we need to go fill out the application for me. I guess that was his way of ending it.

So as we head to his office he's talking about things being crazy and mentions the biodiversity building may get built. It's a 50/50 chance. Guess which side my money is on. Well, we get to his office and as soon as we walk in there is a laminated picture of him with Mike holding an AST. He picks it up and shows it to me. I'm thinking it's yet another slap in the face. He said it was for his barber who he had an appointment with this afternoon before things got hectic. He looked at me and said, "I could probably get you a signed copy..." I glared at him. "...but you probably don't want that." I said, "Was that the biggest AST you got?" He said, "No. we got four or five 40 pounders. We got so tired after the first six traps that we had to take a break. We really set those nets well. We probably had 10 or 12 turtles." We go to fill out the application (which I have to help him with...go figure) and then he prints it off and says I need to answer the open ended questions on the application so that he will know how to answer them. Unbelievable.

Then he shows me pictures of the "Mountain Home Bombers"...cause that's what I really care about (more sarcasm). Then he shows me the Dirty Jobs pictures. He just loves slapping me in the face. He gets to the one picture with me and says, "Hey, who's that guy?!" I didn't say anything, though I had a few choice words in mind. He shows the other pictures with Mike, and a picture of the crew with one of the cameramen filming him as he was taking the picture, and of course the picture with Trauth, Ryan, and Mike and talks about how nice Mike was to take a picture with them. Just keep twisting the knife, Dr. Trauth. He finishes showing the pictures and says, "Now, does that make you feel better? Ostracized?..." I glare at him. "No, he's still p***ed." He mentions that I at least got a care package. I said, "I got the leftovers!" He says they are still eating them at his house. So? I start to head toward the door. He says for me to get the answers to those questions to him by the morning and he'll write the letter of support tomorrow. I walk out without saying a word.