Tribute to the ILH...with apologies to Hank Jr.

All my herpin’ friends have moved away,
And they don’t have time to catch three-toed’s,
Nobody wants to go catch frogs and catch snakes,
Everybody just has such a heavy load,
I myself have seen my wilder times,
When I would go out after Conanti,
But I need to find a friend that knows about Tokay’s,
But nobody wants to go look for Ornates,
And all my herpin’ friends have moved away.

And I think I know what my advisor meant when he talked about a microscope,
And Melissa’s teaching high school now, I’m sure that she can cope,
And Jacob’s staying home and watching Max and Ben, I hope,
And nobody wants to go out and catch snakes,
And all my herpin’ friends have moved away.

And the snake bites sure hurt more than they used to,
And N2 and EM took the place of tongs and a long canoe,
And it seems like none of us do things quite like we used to do,
And nobody has a use for their potato rake,
And all my herpin’ friends have moved away.

Yeah, I think I know what my advisor meant when he talked about microscopy,
And Josh don’t herp like he did back in Polk County,
And not a one of us even have a PhD,
And nobody wants to go flip rocks for DeKay’s,
And all my herpin’ friends have moved away.

Yeah, me and my herpin’ friends sure need a field day.